FONCUSION

He asked me out.

OHMIGOD.

I'm just plain confused here. I don't even know whether I should be elated.

Its a whirlwind of emotions that I feel right now.

I see colours flashing by, but none stopping by long enough for me to identify them. I can't get in touch with my inner self, and I don't know what I really want.

Am I thinking too far ahead? Or should I be thinking this way?

I want to be mentally prepared for anything that is tossed in my way. I don't want to take life one step at a time. I'm not like that anymore. I make plans, and I try my best to execute them.

I'm not the same person I was a year back.

I don't pick out my yee sang any longer. I'm far past that stage.

I consume platefuls of food as opposed to those tentative bites I made last time.

Food is becoming a form of enjoyment to me, thanks to a certain someone.

My anorexic-like food consumption amount is close to being non-existent now.

I smile, this time a genuine one. Not because I feel obliged to.

I laugh, only because I want to, and not to please others.

I tear, after a long day of labour, in which staring at the computer for too long strains my eyes; and not because of stress, fatigue and anger -- all balled up into a tight bundle.

Somehow, I managed to get through all these. And most surprisingly, I realised that I might not have done it without those little words of encouragement, small talk and those beaming rays of optimism.

I feel gratuity, but is there anything more lurking behind that?

That's worth a thought, you know.

I am undecided. Still.