My work progress!

Ok, I'm feeling rather self satisfied at my trial and error result of my AutoCAD 3D~ I wish I had the time to Google up how to render and stuff, but for now, this is good enough, and I'm happy with it! xD Time to show off!

This is the overall view of my Cafe Gallery

From the rear end it looks something like this

Close up of the interior

The price to pay

I see strands of hair on my hands after finger combing my hair gently.

I check my reflection and see a face with acne scars -- an angry red against my natural skin tone. Weary eyes that just can't open as wide as they could. The light telltale lines of wrinkles forming on my forehead.

My body is decorated with tiny yet swollen, red patches; a small press with my fingertips brings pain. Pimples.

My emotional state -- unbalanced. The mounting stress will result in teary breakdowns when it gets overbearing.

I have to forgo my karaoke session tomorrow too because I need to do so many things. This is sad. I could do with a little relaxing.


Anyway, let's see my schedule.

Monday - to draw 2 sections and elevations for my project, submission of building science CD
Tuesday - submission of history journal, comprising of furniture sketches and notes spanning across 12 weeks, submission of history model & coffee table book & report (all incomplete wtf)
Wednesday - submission of drawing portfolio, drawing sketchbook and CD
Thursday - presentation board draft, submission of finalized and complete plan, 2 sections and 2 elevations

I feel that my quest of perfection doesn't really stand in my way of getting things done, not when there is so much to do that I can't possibly bother to filter and upgrade anything.

Tomorrow I have to finish my remaining section drawing, insert all the appropriate labellings, start my history journal (yes, START), print out the drawings, make a model of an Art Deco room and also a coffee table book for history, and if possible complete that abhorrent history report that has been on my to-do list for months.

And I need a good rest really badly. I've been tormented all week long by paranoia, and would just wake up at intervals in my sleep worrying about my work. This is a bad sign. I can't sleep. At least, not enough to keep me going.

I need to keep it up for one more month to face my external review. In 2 weeks time I'll be sitting for my finals. I have no idea what is going on in Building Science, so god help me with that. Building Materials is a joke. We ceased having formal lessons after 3 weeks, so I can't really say I learned anything. My design is in progress, and feels fairly good to me. That's a consolation I guess. God knows what I'll score for drawing. I don't care anymore, much as I'd like to maintain my CGPA.

Sigh. I need time, lots of it.

Hello, blog.
It has been awhile.


I'm not living much of a life these days. I don't have time to eat -- I just take gigantic bites of my food or a few mouthfuls and leave it at there. How I wish that someone would quickly invent a pill that would supply me with sufficient amount of nutrients to make me full instantly so I could save precious time. Sleep has become an extravagant luxury, and that makes me wish fervently that I could have a magic pill that would keep me awake and alert for days so I could go on about my assignments without feeling painfully guilty when I take a nap.


I'm left with an afterthought after a sequence of recent happenings in  my life.

My perfectionist trait is both my strongest asset and ultimate downfall. 

I had a bitter taste of it today when I was rushing to complete my Building Science report. I was running out of time and would most likely be very late for my Building Materials presentation, which was of utmost importance, and carried a significant weightage in my semester. Well, to cut a long story short, I was embarrassingly late, and an encounter with a particularly egregious person before that left me in an absolutely ghastly mood when I reached school. I was *this* close to having a fit.

Temper, temper, do behave yourself.


I see the need to vent it out first before it consumes me and eats me up inside. Right now, I am but a shell of the person I used to be. I am a work-spewing machine -- desperately sleep deprived, exhausted, and nearing my wits' end. And the saddest part is, there is no time to rest. I have two options -- to push forward or give up entirely. And I don't give up.


You know, I suppose my life could be much easier if I didn't have such high expectations of myself. But who am I kidding? That simply isn't who I am. I am an achiever. I am always in top form. I firmly believe that hard work, effort, perseverance and resolution will see me reaping the fruits of my labour. The seeds I'd carefully planted and will sow in due time. And I will keep striving for better. Nothing I do will ever be perfect in my eyes, but my goal is to get closer to perfection each time, to improve, to succeed, to get my satisfaction and ultimately, happiness.



If I live long enough to enjoy it. I am feeling a tad cynical now.