Hello, blog.
It has been awhile.


I'm not living much of a life these days. I don't have time to eat -- I just take gigantic bites of my food or a few mouthfuls and leave it at there. How I wish that someone would quickly invent a pill that would supply me with sufficient amount of nutrients to make me full instantly so I could save precious time. Sleep has become an extravagant luxury, and that makes me wish fervently that I could have a magic pill that would keep me awake and alert for days so I could go on about my assignments without feeling painfully guilty when I take a nap.


I'm left with an afterthought after a sequence of recent happenings in  my life.

My perfectionist trait is both my strongest asset and ultimate downfall. 

I had a bitter taste of it today when I was rushing to complete my Building Science report. I was running out of time and would most likely be very late for my Building Materials presentation, which was of utmost importance, and carried a significant weightage in my semester. Well, to cut a long story short, I was embarrassingly late, and an encounter with a particularly egregious person before that left me in an absolutely ghastly mood when I reached school. I was *this* close to having a fit.

Temper, temper, do behave yourself.


I see the need to vent it out first before it consumes me and eats me up inside. Right now, I am but a shell of the person I used to be. I am a work-spewing machine -- desperately sleep deprived, exhausted, and nearing my wits' end. And the saddest part is, there is no time to rest. I have two options -- to push forward or give up entirely. And I don't give up.


You know, I suppose my life could be much easier if I didn't have such high expectations of myself. But who am I kidding? That simply isn't who I am. I am an achiever. I am always in top form. I firmly believe that hard work, effort, perseverance and resolution will see me reaping the fruits of my labour. The seeds I'd carefully planted and will sow in due time. And I will keep striving for better. Nothing I do will ever be perfect in my eyes, but my goal is to get closer to perfection each time, to improve, to succeed, to get my satisfaction and ultimately, happiness.



If I live long enough to enjoy it. I am feeling a tad cynical now.