At the Heart of KL

Farewell, British Council.

After classes today, I went for lunch with my classmates at KLCC.

I ordered lasagné as I craved Italian food. Scrumptious! :9

Yet, the serving size was a tad too generous, I'd say.

I didn't manage to finish it. I feel terribly guilty for that. But I knew full well that should I stomach another mouth of lasagné, the entire portion that I had wolfed down earlier on would come back up.

And that would be very disgusting.

So, after my lunch I walked back to the British Council. I nearly couldn't find my way back! There were roadsigns, DUH, but seeing that I am hopeless at navigating my way around, I did not depend on those fickle things.

It was only then, that I realised that I had much to discover about KL.

I want to walk about the city like a tourist someday. Not travel around in a car, but to just drink in the air and feel everything. I want to do those touristy things, like pose for photos in front of buildings with bad architecture, find my way around using a map (I'd need help for this bit xD) and enjoy the sunshine at the hour of its glory.

This year, I really want to experience life. But I don't want to do those aforementioned things alone. It'd be too dull! And happiness should be shared -- it's only right.

I suppose that I'm a city person, in and out. The concrete jungle beckons at me, and there is something alluring about it. I know this sounds erroneous, but it feels that way to me. The sights of buildings -- designed and crafted by humans, captivate me. More so than God-bestowed nature.

Uh oh, I feel guilty for saying that again.

Time well spent

Good evening, people!! I'm still at TTC.

Tonight I added loads of new words into my vocabulary building exercise.
Which is an awesome thing :D

This time I'm really determined to finish this up -- there'll be no more 三分钟热度 for me anymore! I'm only studying ONE subject, and if I suck at it, then I really don't deserve to live.

That isn't exactly considered being harsh on myself, is it?

Well, today was quite fruitful altogether. I went for classes (my penultimate day!), had a department meeting, decided to have dinner with Hui Sin tomorrow evening, worked on my vocabulary building and performed my duty as a receptionist.

So anyway, I'm really, really nervous about the upcoming seminar. Yikes! Even though I'm a co-speaker, I'm still inexperienced. I know where my level lies. And its not with the cream of the crop. I'll get there someday. Its a vow that I'm making to myself.

I'm currently drinking from a bottle which I hope is mine *praying hard*

It would be exceedingly revolting should it belong to another :X

Tomorrow I shall stay at the British Council for as long as I can, and fully maximise my membership benefits. Its my last chance to use the facilities available there, and I will make sure that I do not waste my parents' money.

It's gonna be my last day there (how time flies!), and I might miss my classmates :)

Throughout the duration of my course, I've met loads of new people, and even though the experience was a memorable one, the course failed to meet my expectations. It was very demanding financially. Uh-uh, not my type :/

Chinese New Year is coming to an end soon. The next big thing that I'll be looking forward to is probably TTC's exam seminar. Its so ironic, isn't it? My being a graduate and attending a seminar. Somehow, I feel underqualified in comparison to others.

But really, there are plenty of heart warming moments from my teaching experience (should it suffice to be considered as experience :/). Its amazing to watch a sleepy student perk up when I begin a story, or see their faces screwed in concentration (this happens VERY occasionally), or even watch their eyes light up when something amuses them. And they are very easily amused x)

What really astounds me is that some of them actually hand in their homework. Naturally, only the minority do so. I always tell them that if they want to make my life difficult, they'd do their homework. But much to my surprise, it doesn't work. I had never handed in my homework when I was a student myself, therefore I'd be foolish to expect that of my students.

I know, I know. I'm such a bad role model x)

That also probably explains why my maths is atrocious; to the extent that I'd need a calculator for everything! Which totally sucks when I don't have a calculator -- where's that bloody phone??! -- PLEASE excuse my language.

Now I'm dreading SPM results day. I don't think that I'll do brilliantly -- I'd never aced government examinations before, and I doubt that I'd do so this time. I didn't really study for SPM anyway, as I was extremely laidback during my secondary school days.

I don't regret my lifestyle then. Not yet.

Till next time, goodbye! :)

恭喜发财, 财源滚来！

I have a big, fat cold sore on my lip.

Which also means that I CAN give you herpes.

Haha!

Yesterday was absolutely fantastic!! It was a great morning with Yeen Yin and Rou Xin, and an amazing day later on with the band buddies. Well, it felt that way to me :)

It was a great deal of fun catching up with them people. Everyone looked different in some way or another. The girls' fashion sense had just zoomed up the meter. Awesome possum! We're finding ourselves already. Soon, we shall all bid farewell to those awkward teenage years and embrace adulthood.

And, yesterday, fond memories resurfaced themselves, and we chattered away as if we'd never been separated. There were no awkward moments, no struggling to find topics, no huge blank pauses.

Distance makes us treasure our friends more.

With everyone going their separate ways soon, it would be difficult, if not altogether impossible to have another reunion or gathering. Those were the days. I already feel a wave of nostalgia. I should have treasured my high school moments more.

It is so ironic that, when we're at school, we crave to get out of it. The bolder ones would play truant whenever opportunity arises, and the rest would just dream about the last bell sounding during morning assemblies.

I want to go back to school. I want to be surrounded by my buddies, have my clarinet available to me whenever I feel like it, hear teachers droning on about history and maths and have curry potatoes during recess to make my day more bearable.

Memory lane...

See what it does to you?

Still, this is life. It is part and parcel of growing up. And however hard we wish to visit Neverland, reality is in our way. It is the hugest obstacle of human life, and hits at us the hardest when we expect otherwise.

***

I'm very very sorry, Karluis. Sorry for ditching you all the time. Things could be better if I could drive. I really have no mode of transportation, but with all that said, I won't be as audacious as to ask for your forgiveness. I don't deserve that!

I have a conscience.

Today I watched Avatar. Like, finally.

The movie was awesome, by the way. Even though its a tad too lengthy for my liking (I need to empty my bladder!)... but Avatar certainly outdoes The Toothfairy. No doubts here!

Too bad I have a curfew today. Well, it wasn't exactly a curfew, just a promise I made to my mom. So tonight I didn't get to have a nice nice dinner. BOO. And this is the result of my being home late yesterday. Which wasn't very late, if you look back at my track record. I was home before 12am anyway. Pfft. Parents!

Classes resume tomorrow and ends on Tuesday. I have an awesome week to look forward to! This is the life, man! :)

FONCUSION

He asked me out.

OHMIGOD.

I'm just plain confused here. I don't even know whether I should be elated.

Its a whirlwind of emotions that I feel right now.

I see colours flashing by, but none stopping by long enough for me to identify them. I can't get in touch with my inner self, and I don't know what I really want.

Am I thinking too far ahead? Or should I be thinking this way?

I want to be mentally prepared for anything that is tossed in my way. I don't want to take life one step at a time. I'm not like that anymore. I make plans, and I try my best to execute them.

I'm not the same person I was a year back.

I don't pick out my yee sang any longer. I'm far past that stage.

I consume platefuls of food as opposed to those tentative bites I made last time.

Food is becoming a form of enjoyment to me, thanks to a certain someone.

My anorexic-like food consumption amount is close to being non-existent now.

I smile, this time a genuine one. Not because I feel obliged to.

I laugh, only because I want to, and not to please others.

I tear, after a long day of labour, in which staring at the computer for too long strains my eyes; and not because of stress, fatigue and anger -- all balled up into a tight bundle.

Somehow, I managed to get through all these. And most surprisingly, I realised that I might not have done it without those little words of encouragement, small talk and those beaming rays of optimism.

I feel gratuity, but is there anything more lurking behind that?

That's worth a thought, you know.

I am undecided. Still.

NOTE TO SELF

1. Cut nails!
2. Complete notes
3. Buy reload
4. Clear up my table
5. Get started on my vocabulary building!
6. Change blogskin

Hmm that's all for now.

My Chinese New Year has boring with a capital B. I've only visited 2 houses, which are my paternal grandparents and maternal grandparents houses. And because of that, I've received only 3 angpaus, which will go back to my mother "I am the one giving out angpaus here so its only fair that I get them back!".

Life. Anyway I've purchased a dress and 6 pairs of earrings with my salary. It rocks socks, man, to be buying stuff with your hard earned cash! And its worth mentioning that I still get that thrill from buying things :D

In the past I'd used to torture myself for spending money. I would be thinking of the money spent instead of the goods exchanged for cash (which is really a better substitute for "buying") and that would torment me mentally.

Now, its vice versa. I'd keep on thinking of my purchases and ignore the fact that I've spent a fifth of my salary on them and get that cheap thrill. Well buying new things has a lasting effect on me. For one, the endorphins will just surface themselves each time I think about my fruitful shopping expeditions. That leaves me feeling elated and on a high.

Shopping therapy -- it sure works for me!

Still, the only reason why I went all out to get a dress is because my awesome possum shopping buddy Kai Foong is back from NS for Chinese New Year! I will NOT attempt purchasing a dress without his (or my mom's) presence. My mom because she'll be paying for it, therefore I need not worry, and Kai Foong -- well, simply because he has excellent taste.

So so so, recently I've been watching this Hong Kong drama called 老友狗狗, which is really nice and doggish. Its been my one source of entertainment during the CNY break, because my computer failed to live up to my expectations. And the sad truth is, I don't even have high expectations!

By the way I hate my blogskin now. Nevermind that I've spent so much time searching for the photos and editing, but I'm just plain bored of it. Its so... DULL. Ugh I'll do something about it in the near future, and that's for sure!

So, Karluis, I hope that you'll be entertained by this (even if its for a mere 5 minutes...) and just in case I forget to link you again...

TO DO LIST: Link Karluis!!!

Haha!

Go ahead, try deciphering me.

Yesterday I was feeling real down. No thanks to the parents. Come on lah, I've just only gotten my paycheck and that's how you guys talk to me. Of rolling eyes and heated arguments, it was pretty ugly.

Still, thank you for trying to cheer me up. You know who you are.

It'd been eons since I'd last had a late night conversation. And you know what? Its pretty nice.

I don't know what is my mom's problem, seriously. She is so easily brainwashed by others (AND NOT ME!). She actually suggested that I study FISHERIES. Fickle. I'm amazed at the way her mind works. PUZZLING.

Classes are oklah. I don't feel as if I'm learning that much. So sorry if I'm too pro. And no, I'm not trying to be, or sound cocky over here. Its just that I should be getting in more for what I'm paying. I tell you, my students at TTC are so lucky. What I'm paying a day is MORE than what they fork out PER MONTH.

My course costs RM27.34 per hour, and they only pay RM15 per hour. You do the math.

Today is my sister's birthday. I'd already gave her her present. I gave her twenty percent of my total salary (don't ask how much I'm getting la) so she's one lucky person.

Oh, and I want to go shopping. I want to buy a dress. Just for the fun of it x) And of late, my appetite's been growing. I don't think that I'm THAT easily influenced! But yes, I've been eating far more. And I ate all of my Yee Sang up during Annual Dinner. Usually I only select bits to consume. Hmmm...

Still, my weight is no proof of my eating habits! And for that, I'm eating like a glutton. Junk food and chocolates all the way. Heavenly!

Last Sunday I went to Miaw's place for dinner and I had a second helping of spaghetti to an already overloaded plate. Filled to the brim, literally. But it was great. Awesome, even! I can't wait to go out on Friday with my old classmates!! I love them so much, man! (Except for Q la. Not THAT much xD)

Moody moody

To date, teaching has been loads of fun. Except that sometimes its really demanding. I'm not some automatic story-telling machine lah, kids! But I try my best to fulfill your requests.

And those pesky Form 1s exhaust me. Every second I've got to make sure that no one is sneaking out of the room. I literally had to block the door or else they would crawl from under the table and out. UGHHH. Dream come true, no?

Sometimes, though, I feel left out. I don't get those pillow throwing games. And I don't get all that talk about relationships and Chinese books. With that, I step into solitude. Well, just sometimes.

Mealtimes are okay. Just that it kinda sucks when I have to eat alone.

I'm being plain emo right now. Sorry about that :/