Reality check

In a month, I will officially finish my first year. 

Hello, long awaited holidays :)

I wish I was in January intake instead of July, that way I'd get my 3 months break at the end of each academic year instead of in the middle, because the end of each year is far more stressful!

MY HAIR :(

***

Weekend rush work for today's internal review. 

I did the best I could within that short time frame. *shrugs*

***

I'm gonna exercise a little to compensate for my inactive lifestyle. The solution? 10 sit ups before dozing off, and 5 sit ups when I wake up each morning. I chose this exercise because I can do it on the bed! xD And also because it can help me make my tummy more firm. I want to fit comfortably in my tight jeans!

Note to self: 

BE RESOLUTE AND DON'T BREAK THE ROUTINE!

HAIR HAIR HAIR

COME BACK PLEASE.

I BEG YOU.

:(

TUMMY TUMMY,

PLEASE DISAPPEAR.

._.

LAG

MY COMPUTER SPEED. 

CRY T.T

Internal review tomorrow!

Presentation board, AutoCAD drawings, manual renderings, etc. in progress~

Racing against time.

My work progress!

Ok, I'm feeling rather self satisfied at my trial and error result of my AutoCAD 3D~ I wish I had the time to Google up how to render and stuff, but for now, this is good enough, and I'm happy with it! xD Time to show off!

This is the overall view of my Cafe Gallery

From the rear end it looks something like this

Close up of the interior

The price to pay

I see strands of hair on my hands after finger combing my hair gently.

I check my reflection and see a face with acne scars -- an angry red against my natural skin tone. Weary eyes that just can't open as wide as they could. The light telltale lines of wrinkles forming on my forehead.

My body is decorated with tiny yet swollen, red patches; a small press with my fingertips brings pain. Pimples.

My emotional state -- unbalanced. The mounting stress will result in teary breakdowns when it gets overbearing.

I have to forgo my karaoke session tomorrow too because I need to do so many things. This is sad. I could do with a little relaxing.


Anyway, let's see my schedule.

Monday - to draw 2 sections and elevations for my project, submission of building science CD
Tuesday - submission of history journal, comprising of furniture sketches and notes spanning across 12 weeks, submission of history model & coffee table book & report (all incomplete wtf)
Wednesday - submission of drawing portfolio, drawing sketchbook and CD
Thursday - presentation board draft, submission of finalized and complete plan, 2 sections and 2 elevations

I feel that my quest of perfection doesn't really stand in my way of getting things done, not when there is so much to do that I can't possibly bother to filter and upgrade anything.

Tomorrow I have to finish my remaining section drawing, insert all the appropriate labellings, start my history journal (yes, START), print out the drawings, make a model of an Art Deco room and also a coffee table book for history, and if possible complete that abhorrent history report that has been on my to-do list for months.

And I need a good rest really badly. I've been tormented all week long by paranoia, and would just wake up at intervals in my sleep worrying about my work. This is a bad sign. I can't sleep. At least, not enough to keep me going.

I need to keep it up for one more month to face my external review. In 2 weeks time I'll be sitting for my finals. I have no idea what is going on in Building Science, so god help me with that. Building Materials is a joke. We ceased having formal lessons after 3 weeks, so I can't really say I learned anything. My design is in progress, and feels fairly good to me. That's a consolation I guess. God knows what I'll score for drawing. I don't care anymore, much as I'd like to maintain my CGPA.

Sigh. I need time, lots of it.

Hello, blog.
It has been awhile.


I'm not living much of a life these days. I don't have time to eat -- I just take gigantic bites of my food or a few mouthfuls and leave it at there. How I wish that someone would quickly invent a pill that would supply me with sufficient amount of nutrients to make me full instantly so I could save precious time. Sleep has become an extravagant luxury, and that makes me wish fervently that I could have a magic pill that would keep me awake and alert for days so I could go on about my assignments without feeling painfully guilty when I take a nap.


I'm left with an afterthought after a sequence of recent happenings in  my life.

My perfectionist trait is both my strongest asset and ultimate downfall. 

I had a bitter taste of it today when I was rushing to complete my Building Science report. I was running out of time and would most likely be very late for my Building Materials presentation, which was of utmost importance, and carried a significant weightage in my semester. Well, to cut a long story short, I was embarrassingly late, and an encounter with a particularly egregious person before that left me in an absolutely ghastly mood when I reached school. I was *this* close to having a fit.

Temper, temper, do behave yourself.


I see the need to vent it out first before it consumes me and eats me up inside. Right now, I am but a shell of the person I used to be. I am a work-spewing machine -- desperately sleep deprived, exhausted, and nearing my wits' end. And the saddest part is, there is no time to rest. I have two options -- to push forward or give up entirely. And I don't give up.


You know, I suppose my life could be much easier if I didn't have such high expectations of myself. But who am I kidding? That simply isn't who I am. I am an achiever. I am always in top form. I firmly believe that hard work, effort, perseverance and resolution will see me reaping the fruits of my labour. The seeds I'd carefully planted and will sow in due time. And I will keep striving for better. Nothing I do will ever be perfect in my eyes, but my goal is to get closer to perfection each time, to improve, to succeed, to get my satisfaction and ultimately, happiness.



If I live long enough to enjoy it. I am feeling a tad cynical now.

Stay, February

Another long weekend :)

Life is seriously awesome for the month of February. I love work, enjoy the company I keep, bask in the freedom I'm given, get to keep my angpaus (for the first time in my life) and am learning loads! Real life working experience really is different. Comparing the me now and the me back in December, I feel that I have made miles of progress. Psychologically I've changed a lot too. My perception of things has altered greatly, to an extent that sometimes scares me when I think of it. It's kind of hard to describe, but it's a personal journey that I undertook and I understand. I've grown wiser, I hope. Education wise I've actually picked up AutoCAD from scratch and am actually capable of simple drafting! Everything that used to baffle me now works splendidly. It's amazing, really, when I think about what I didn't know and what I do now.

I absolutely dread the arrival of March. I swear you'd have to drag me back to Limkokwing. My past experiences there make me cringe. Education has never been so... futile. Many lecturers are sub par, and newly graduates are allocated entire classes to teach themselves under the rank "tutor". Supposedly only those with at least a Masters degree should be able to handle classes of that level. We're in our degree, hello! Why on earth would we want people with a degree to teach us? They are underqualified, having no actual working experience apart from their internship.

Oh gosh I really should stop ranting about my university. I could go on and on, and no action would be taken because they turn a deaf ear to your complaints, or ask you to file your complaint at a certain department, who would direct you to another department, and you'll go on a merry-go-round ride that exhausts you. And at the end of the day, the various departments in the university would say "We did not receive the information from XXX department.", and the story ends. By that time, you'd be too tired to care. It's just so convenient to pass the ball to others and keep your hands clean. Miscommunication errors are just so handy!


I want February to last forever and ever :(

Learning should be like how I spent my holidays -- relaxing, enjoyable and self motivating! Not like in university where you do every assignment reluctantly, cursing and swearing when the due dates approach, suffer from hair loss and terrible skin complexion and feel the frustration mount from coursemates who always try to interrogate you and check on your assignment scores (yeah some people are lifeless just like that).

Also, I'm doing a personal research project, which I hope to complete before the end of my holidays. I really hope that I'll have the discipline to finish it!


Okay, so that's all for now. Till next time!

Halloween Table

Haha this is so cool!

新年快乐！

I hope that life's treating everyone good :)

新的一年，新的开始~

I had a bit of a bumpy ride not too long ago, but all's well now I hope. The dragon year has arrived at long last! Meaning that my bunny year t-shirt will go out of style haha. I like that shirt with the 12 zodiac illustrations and glittering, gold bunnies. I like rabbits a lot! They're cute, cuddly and small. I like the way they twitch their noses and hop about. But the fact that they eat their poop kinda disgusts me even though it's natural for them.

Anyway I hope that this year will be a good year for my academics, my finances and love life. May there be lots of shopping that I need not pay for this year!

I just started my CNY shopping and I must say that I still haven't had enough of it! Oops? xD Yeah I'm getting greedy. Give me a penny and I'll want a pound. I'm only human! I have urges, and they are whispering in my ears all the time "Go shop go shop!".

I will make lots of money in future to cater to my shopping addiction. I am proud to say that despite my love for shopping, I still manage to save up a little. At least I won't have a zero balance bank account, or owe others money. I just live by that principle and life will be good.

But I think that I have to stop following all the technology and gadget news already. Those smartphones, laptops and tablets are looking more appealing the more I research on them. I want them all!!! NOOO!!! I feel like getting a tablet for reading e-books and surfing the internet. BUT. NO. I CAN'T. AND I WON'T. The Asus Transformer Prime looks awesome but the Kindle Fire comes with an attractive price tag.

Stop thinking about it!


This year I will charge ahead full force in my studies! I will strive to be the best and maintain my results. Though that will be kinda challenging seeing that I scored a perfect CGPA xD Okay perasan time over. Now I'm gonna be serious and list down what I expect of myself for this year.

1. I will be like a sponge and absorb everything! Every single piece of information and knowledge that is helpful for my future, that is!
2. I will take extra initiative and learn more about sustainable and green buildings and renewable energy, since I intend to make it my specialization.
3. I will look up things that are new to me and not just ignore the words as I read them. Mustn't continue that bad habit!

Just those 3. If I can follow through those 3 things, I will have done something already.

加油 to everyone!! Me especially!!!

泪光闪烁

I love this song ♥

夜 从天空悄悄滑落 

任性地划着伤口 

是谁呢 痛得那么沉默 

我 以为把幸福上锁 

能紧紧守护承诺 

是谁呢 把窗推开 风卷走了爱 

为你哭的泪 每一颗闪烁 

坚定的路途也走得颠簸 

头也不回 义无反顾 从不后悔深爱过 

为你笑的泪 每一颗闪烁 

‘Cause I love you so 

最美的爱 不是紧握 我们曾拥有 

夜 从天空悄悄滑落 

任性地划着伤口 

是谁呢 痛得那么沉默 

我 以为把幸福上锁 

能紧紧守护承诺 

是谁呢 把窗推开 风卷走了爱 

为你哭的泪 每一颗闪烁 

坚定的路途也走得颠簸 

头也不回 义无反顾 从不后悔深爱过 

为你笑的泪 每一颗闪烁 

‘Cause I love you so 

最美的爱 不是紧握 我们曾拥有 

当 心跌碎了以后 

我还努力拼凑 你给的梦

为你哭的泪 每一颗闪烁 

坚定的路途也走得颠簸 

头也不回 义无反顾 从不后悔深深爱过 

为你笑的泪 每一颗闪烁 

‘Cause I love you so 

最美的爱 不是紧握 我们曾拥有 

开心或伤心也好，日子还是会一样的过去～

Trust me, I try not to be overly demanding. But what's a new year without new things, new thoughts and new experiences? Here's how I mapped out my emotional journey through life.

What I want of life right now is to make my own mistakes, explore the world, learn new things, seek new life adventures, and eventually grow as a person. I want to experience the ups and downs of it -- every single moment I am entitled to. I yearn to know desolateness, joy, fury and passion better, so I can welcome them as old friends when we meet once more. I want to be swept away by my emotions and cling on to my spring days for as long as possible. I crave the youth I am so desperately afraid of losing now. The years are catching up on me, and the balding patch on my head is there to remind me of it every single day.

I want to be the person I envisioned myself to be. Independent, strong-willed, determined and successful. I am still a long way from there, but I'm working on it. I will spread my wings and soar, not away from the life I love, but towards the future I dream of. For once, I want to be selfish and do everything solely for myself, without having to consider about the consequences of my actions. I'm living my life for me, and I'm only young once. Springtime doesn't last forever.

I have ambition, and I have hopes yet to be realised. Only time can tell where I'll go, but where I am right now feels right to me.

谢谢你们爱我的每个人

这首歌好感人，超有意思！我觉得自己再怎样也不会像 Selina 一样坚强。她的经历真的好让人心疼。这种事情不该在任何人的身上发生的。但她可以勇敢的走出逆境，就单凭这一点我已经好佩服她了……

Selina 如今已出嫁，幸福快乐了。我替她感到非常高兴！人经历过挫折就会真正懂得珍惜幸福。彩虹总在雨后出现!

Selina 的体验教了我几个人生大道理。我要向她学习如何在那么恶劣的环境下坚强、勇敢及努力重生。我要学习她在面对挫折时的意志力和奋斗精神。我得为我以下的人生而加油！