Life isn't getting any better.

YET.

Seriously, who am I kidding?

Despite not getting as much criticisms as my classmates during the review, I still do not think that I have fared any better. Probably gotten away easier, only because I was the second person to present out of fifty/sixty-something students. I deem myself as a warm-up for the lecturers.

Gosh, I'll never choose lecturing or teaching as a profession. I do not want to wake up to nightmares of being voodoo-sized or something. Nor do I want to be disliked to the extent that people are always crossing their fingers and hoping that a flower pot would fall on my head. Which I don't as a student, but you'll never know it with other people x)

Two more weeks of hell.

Can time pass slower?

Today is an awful bore. I've never been so restless on a Saturday before. I miss my boyfriend to bits and I still have to bear with it till Monday. My to-do list is nowhere near complete but I can't care less right now. I'm dying to drive later. Being cooped up in a house all day long is sheer and absolute torture. I totally understand how caged animals feel right now. But it would be better to bear with that than the constant awareness that you might end up as someone's rug or wall piece.

I need something to do.

Something that is not uni-related. Yesterday was nice. I enjoy doing notes, because I am occupied with something. And la-di-da I am indeed capable of whipping up a month's worth of teaching materials within one day. With a certain amount of quality, no doubt.

Right now, I shall stop singing praises about myself and step back into real life.

Unfortunately, for most of us, life goes on.

I don't really mean that. I am glad to be given a chance to live. Thus I shall not waste my life away like an awful lot of people I could mention.

Purely habitual.

Lazy Saturdays.

But for the first time in months, I slept in on a Saturday morning! This is so awesome man. But I woke up with a bad feeling in my gut that I was wasting my time sleeping. Yet til now, I have not geared myself up to do anything. Contradictory, much?

I need a new to-do list, since I crossed things off my old one and other things came up. So yes, I'm gonna make one and post it up here so I will feel the heat in my pants and cease spending the rest of my day facing the computer.

1. Building Technology Journal
2. Presentation Board
3. Design and Drawing Portfolio
4. Get Intro to Built Environment lecture slides
5. Stamp my exam docket
6. Do my LUCT 2 point perspective
7. Study
8. Update myself about the going-ons with Malaysian Studies
9. Redo Design Projects
10. Prepare my logbook

Time doesn't wait for anyone.

It'll be nice to escape reality for a moment.

I never had a proper holiday since SPM. Not that I had awesome once-in-a-lifetime trips before either. But I wish I did have one, so I could look back at it and reminisce at those joyful memories. Anything before then is buried too deep for my memory to recall properly. I am a scatter-brain at times, but more fish-brained than anyone else I know.

As far as I'm concerned, a long break would do the job just as well :)

2 more weeks to go before my semester break!

WHOPPEE!!

The silver streak in people's characters -- a kind heart.

And all will be water under the bridge.

Bear with it and soon it'll be over.

I dread next week.

But nothing's gonna stop time from ticking away so I might as well just grind my teeth and get down to it.

My cause and effect essay with referencing is due on Tuesday, and I have yet to start working on it. B. Tech journal's deadline is on Wednesday. Alright, so I've made a headway there, but my progress is somewhat disappointing. Thursday is the big day, our internal review for our final design project. Which I am working on, and let's just say that I still have a long way more to completion. And by Friday, I have to whip up 3 A3 sized sketches and an A4 sketch.

I get through each week by promising myself that it will get better somehow. Even though its all but a big fat lie. It never gets any better, but instead speeds downhill at a pace I find hard--no, impossible to keep up.

I'm caught between work, studies and rest. Relaxation is no longer a priority, it is a privilege.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about my life. I just need to get it out of my system -- the muddled thoughts and emotional exhaustion.

I can't even be bothered about trivial matters or insignificant people that give me a moment's annoyance, be it in real life or cyberspace. Time wasted can't be repurchased. And so, I shall give only important things and irreplaceable people in my life precious time, like my family, my boyfriend and my friends.

On a side note, I am no doubt elated to have done well in my recent quiz despite studying for slightly more than a day. I will do my best to make my parents proud -- it's the least I could do to repay them for bringing me up well :)

My results baffled me at first, to the point where I approached my tutor and asked him if he had indeed marked our papers properly. I honestly felt like there was some mistake in my results, considering the fact that I did not have a feel-good feeling after the quiz, but since everyone in class improved by leaps and bounds this time, it does seem like an overall upgrade, or in better sounding words, an overall improvement. Besides that, my assignment scores were pretty satisfying. Practice does make perfect, and hard work pays off well.

My life revolves around my studies now, so I apologise for going on and on about it. Mainly because that's the only thing I can blog about right now, because I don't think that you want to read about how infuriated I am about certain snippets of Budget 2011, particularly about the plans for the construction of a 100-storey building. It is rather stale news, but much less miserable than the recent tragedies and rising death rates.

Here's something that you might be interested in (if reading is your thing la), Lee Kuan Yew's eulogy. Many say that it is a political gimmick, but truth be told, political gimmick or not, it does seem heartfelt and sincere in my opinion. I devour the Insight section of the Sunday Star weekly without fail, and this is by far my favourite piece.

And on this note, I'll end my post. This is an extra long post (including the article) because I won't have the time to update for the following week. Till next time, au revoir!

Learn a thing or two.

Study break

I'm feeling very under-prepared for tomorrow's quiz.

Am only halfway through my last minute studying. Actually I'm feeling quite optimistic about my progress (but not the result, mind you). I can get through the quiz syllabus by tonight and reinforce my grasp of the topics tested tomorrow.

Its just 10 questions. With tips. So I should do well, right?

But no, you need to sketch diagrams, label them and well, its just not as simple as it sounds. I never knew that roofs had so much to them.

Ridge-valley rafter-hip rafter-eaves-verge-common rafters-Jack rafters-gable end.

It probably sounds like nonsense to your ears but they are essential for my passing tomorrow's quiz! So there.

Remind me again why I chose to pursue this course >.<

***

Okay, I just remembered this one tiny detail I left out.

OUR SITE VISIT TODAY WAS CANCELLED!!!

I'd sorta anticipated it already, seeing that Limkokwing University has an excellent track record of failing to deliver its promises. Everything sounds better that it seems, that I've learned in 3 months of studying there.

But really, notifying us one day prior to the supposed site visit?? That is downright absurd and unreasonable.

Its position as a higher education institution is preposterous, seeing that it does not even hold on to any virtuous principles and its primary insider motto (or how I came to fathom it) is "earn more money--it does not matter through what means the money is obtained from".

Better not screw up this time.

I have my final project and a quiz coming up soon.

I'm making a castle and glass slipper for my Cinderella-titled project. The sad, gloomy feeling does emote well. I am very pleased with the effect. And before you question my choice of emotions for my sculpture, let me assure you that I have my reasons :)

I need to work harder for this coming quiz. I did average (okay, slightly above average as there were so many failures) in my previous one and even though many of my classmates failed to perform its no reason to not strive harder. Its unbelievable really, that some students can score 0%. It makes me wonder where their minds wander during lectures.

Last Friday I went out for a movie date with Dearie :D

I do so love outings like that! We watched Detective Dee, which was really interesting and action-packed. But I couldn't stand those close-up burning humans scene. Those were stomach turning. Not to mention that I had a slight problem catching up with the movie because my Cantonese is pretty poor. I know enough to order food, but should I be asked to converse in that dialect, I'll pitch up a white flag.

On a different note, I read a few books of late. One of which is entitled Forever, by Judy Blume. I just find the ending devastating. But it is themed around the fact that life holds no promises, and that someday, we all have to face reality that most of the time, fairy tales do not exist.

If you're interested to read it, here's the download link.

我好了 and 绿袖子 by 元若蓝 tops my current songlist.

That's it for now!

笑一笑 没烦恼

哭过就好了

记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的

- 梁文音

Smile, even when you don't want to.

Get good hold of your emotions.

Do not let your frustrations affect your mood.

Take a deep breath.

Everything will be okay.

Have faith in that saying.

Think positive.

Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday-Site-visit-to-Sunway-Pyramid-next-Tuesday

My group mates and I are planning to go shopping and have sushi during our site visit (seriously, how possible is it to study its foundation system for 6 hours??).

I sure hope that it will realise!

Fingers crossed x)

I am feeling way better now :D

I keep forgetting that this isn't Tumblr.

Here's one last one for today x)

I'll keep myself on tight reins hereafter!

Food for thought

Tumblr pick ;)

Gratuity

Gratuity is a value that is eluding our generation.

We do take things for granted -- plenty of them, mind you.

We expect so much from others and give back so little.

The question is, how much can you ask of other people?

They do not owe you anything, that is for sure. Neither do your parents, for that matter.

Count your blessings.

Start from your family.

There are so many people who do not have one.

Move on to special someones.

Treasure them because you do not know how long they'll be there for you.

Be glad that you have friends.

They help you develop emotionally and will be a huge part of your life, should you allow it.

Thank the stars that you have lived to your age, because elsewhere in the world, some people did not make it like you did.

The shell of a person I have become.

My life revolves around my university, boyfriend, job and computer.

I had anticipated this part of the year so much before. But my expectations were crushed after reality sank in.

Often am I left to ponder, am I doing the right thing--the right course, at the right place?

Because it seems to me that no matter how hard I try (or not attempt), the result is the same. Unsatisfactory.

It makes me question the quality of education I am receiving, the intellect and experience of my educators, and lastly, myself.

Nothing ever seems good enough, you know. But then again, define "good enough". That's a question I'll never get an answer to, because these educators (I use that term lightly here) apparently fail to provide their definition of that phrase.

But here I am, not in any position to complain, because I am receiving handouts. Handouts--referring to a scholarship. How shallow the world has become. I should understand too, that money thrives above all. The proof of it stares back at me, wide-eyed.

This is the world we will be bringing our children into.