Sometimes, all we need is a little acknowledgement.

I'm tired. Tired of having to rearrange things, tired of having to complete something someone has done halfway, to clean up and dump unwanted things.

Its not that I want to make my life difficult. I do these things because I want everyone to enjoy a better environment, a better working space. Life would be much less complex and relaxed if we need not worry about where we had misplaced our things and where to find whatever we require at that moment.

I'm fine with it if I go solo. As in, I don't mind if no one else helps me. Its really, really alright with me if you'd rather opt to play games or do other things which rank higher in your list of priorities. But I am only human, and I have my limits.

Truth is, I'm fed up.

I don't need to hear grateful choruses of thanks nor do I want to listen to praises sung about me. If that was what I wanted all along then it really isn't worth the trouble I'm going through, is it? It'd be lovely if people could just be a little appreciative :/

Frankly speaking, it would suffice greatly if everyone does their part. Clean up your own mess! You don't have to do it on the day itself, because I know how weary one can get when it comes to seeing a pile of things scattered around at the end of the day, even if we had contributed to it ourselves. Just... get it done somehow.

Because, on my part, I'd feel hugely ashamed when I see something unpleasant I'd created stare back at me. I find it... disturbing. It would embarrass me as much as having spinach stuck between my front teeth, as much as not flushing the toilet after I'm done with it.

To that extent. And mind you, those are some of the most embarrassing scenarios I can think of.

Procrastinating is a trait we all would love to steer clear from, but are helpless when it comes to actually doing it. There isn't a single person in this world who hasn't procrastinated before, be it procrastinating to get a project or assignment done, or when getting ready for school. Its so much a part of humans, that unless we really make an effort, we would not be able to heave this negative trait off our backs.

Stop being lazy, everyone. I'm not in much of a position to complain but I'm really fed up this time.

"If you're not achieving what you had aimed for, you just have to try harder."

This is my philosophy. That's what I say when I hear students sigh about their lack of achievements and decide to give up -- you just have to try harder.

And so, the same goes for procrastination and cleaning up after yourself. It isn't impossible -- you just have to try harder. I'm done saying what i have to say right now, so have a good night, and goodbye.

New Router

Today wasn't as great as yesterday in the sense of fulfillment, but but but, my dad bought a router!!

So basically, I can now go online via laptop in the comfort of my room :D

This is so awesome!

Tomorrow I'm gonna start teaching already, and I'm super worried that I'll lose touch somehow. But I NEED the paycheck. I'm obsessed with setting goals for my savings account and achieving them.

That's the Virgo in me.

I am in dire need of eyebrow threading. This is the first time I've allowed them to grow so bushy and shapeless. And I look and feel awful.

Facial also tops the ASAP list. Spots have been sprouting out on my face like mushrooms, and it isn't at all a nice sensation when I feel a particularly bumpy part of my face. Of course, it doesn't show that much, but one close look will send you searching for a toilet bowl to throw up yesterday's dinner.

My life at Uniten is now over and I've checked out of my hostel so I can bid Japanese sayonara. It was certainly an experience. Admittedly I've gotten plenty of exercise there, by walking or running to and back from lessons. The buses there are horribly unpunctual and there was this one driver (he was awful and terribly unethical) who drove off without waiting for even 30 seconds! It was evident that he'd caught sight of us chasing after his bus but he, being less endowed in ethics and mannerism than stone age cannibals, decided to drive off, leaving us to pant in our cheongsams (attire of the day) and bear with the smarting pain in our feet caused by running in heels (who wears cheongsams without heels??).

No more heaty food and cold showers! No more daily homework and revision!

Ooh, by the way this is a really cool photo we took during Batik day!

I'm as free as a bird right now, and am basking in every moment of it.

Day out with my dear

I had an awesome day today!

Dear and I went to KLCC park (MY IDEA :D) this morning for a walk. I took loads of photos :) There were just so many sights that I, as a Malaysian felt slightly ashamed for not knowing about this. I don't even know how tall is Twin Towers, for goodness' sake!

The air was really refreshing despite us being in the heart of the city.

We took LRT there. After our late morning stroll I brought him to my favorite spaghetti place and we shared a plate of Meatball Alfredo. It tasted absolutely heavenly :9

Then then we went to Mid Valley. The plan was Fish Spa, shopping for me then a movie.

Fish Spa was terrific!! It was so ticklish at first that I couldn't stop myself from bursting into fits of laughter. The big fishes looked intimidating. But he enjoyed it, haha! He claimed that it felt like being scratched. Big fishes don't agree with me, full stop.

After doing Fish Spa our legs felt super duper smooth! I couldn't stop myself from bending down to admire my legs. There was a spring to my step after being treated by doctor fish. Awesome therapy indeed!! :D

Oooh but the best part is still shopping! I really outdid myself today. With my dear's help in choosing outfits, I went home RM200 poorer, armed with 2 cardigans, a pair of leggings, 2 (mini)skirts, 2 tank tops and a shocking pink bracelet.

Definitely a fruitful shopping trip. I could do more damage but I refrained from that by ignoring unvisited shops. They were beckoning at me most welcomely and it was so difficult to swallow down the urge to finger through their merchandises.

When In Rome is great! It is a romance movie, as the title subtly suggests. The lead actress looked more pretty as the movie went on. It was not as hilarious as Date Night, but an interesting watch.

I was drained after the movie so we went back to TTC for a nap. I've never enjoyed my Saturday as much! The only downside to today was that my parents did not give me sufficient pocket money. Which is really a huge downside for me.

Oh, by the way, I've got another interview from The Star, this time at Limkokwing. I went for the Alfa interview last Tuesday, and my mom has no intention of having me accept the offer should I get it. The same goes to the Limkokwing one, but for experience's sake, I've to put up with it and take it as practice sessions :/

Today I went for my JPA interview. It was not bad :)
Thanks to my lucky necklace!

Because of the enormity of this event, I had to remove my nail polish, which my mom deemed as ugly-atrocious. Perhaps red is not my colour :/

I was the only girl in the group of 5 for the interview. Somehow, even if I do not succeed, I'll have no regrets, 'cos I gave it my all already. I tried, at least!

Oh, and I had the worst nasi goreng for dinner just now. I find onions and vegetables simply detestable. I hope that my sore throat won't worsen because of that.

I can't wait till Friday!

Am going PC Fair this Saturday, I hope. I wanna get a laptop REEEEAAAAL BAD.

Regarding CHS's Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang, I still haven't decided on what to wear yet. No jeans, no sleeveless, collared outfits made compulsory...

All of a sudden my old school uniform seems like a better option.

Am gonna study now! Byebye :)))

Weekend update

I didn't study at all over the weekend. And I feel kinda guilty that I'd spent more time with my boyfriend instead of my family. But in a way, I don't really regret it. I just feel bad that I couldn't manage to eat the home cooked meals that were specially prepared for me.

I'm sitting on the fence.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Uniten but I'll be spending my evening at PJ.

I want more time for my dear!!!

Life doesn't always go as planned, does it?

I'll have a lot of fun there though. My neighbours, housemate and I click very well and we can talk the hind leg off a donkey!

There are 5 of us in total, 2 from Seremban, 1 from Ipoh and another from Klang Valley. So after this course we won't be seeing each other anymore!

LiFE

Uniten

Hello all! In just 2 days I've had memorised the all the Hiragana! What a feat!

I never knew I had that in me :D

There're only 2 people (incuding me) in my apartment, which is awesome since these apartment slash hostels are built to accomodate 4.

I have a room to myself and my housemate is really really nice. I have fun neighbours and we study diligently without fail every single night.

The only downside to all of these is that I can't be with my dear. And also that I have to leave my job for a month. Well I'll update more over the weekend! Byebye!!

Messed up

That's my day.

I had a perfect life. I had everything going on smoothly -- I enjoyed my job, I'd gotten praiseworthy results, had a wonderful boyfriend and was terribly, terribly happy and contented.

Zoom back into reality.

I'm moving into my hostel slash apartment later. I've spent half an hour on the phone crying to my boyfriend, took a month's leave, and dived head down into a new foreign thing altogether.

I will be studying at Uniten (Universiti Tenaga Nasional) for a month, doing a superspeed Japanese language course. They had accepted my application, and so here I am.

This makes me a uni-going student now.

I, Stephanie Chin am studying at a university, and staying away from home starting today. Goodbye world. Apparently we're not allowed Facebook. That is just depressing.

The solution to my fatty problems :D

I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT.

But its hard when my dear makes me eat. Because when he does that, I do not have to even lift a finger. The food reaches my mouth almost the instant I open it.

OH NO.

***

This is an article I found on the web about losing weight ;D

Rule #1: Avoid “white” carbohydrates

Avoid any carbohydrate that is — or can be — white. The following foods are thus prohibited, except for within 1.5 hours of finishing a resistance-training workout of at least 20 minutes in length: bread, rice, cereal, potatoes, pasta, and fried food with breading. If you avoid eating anything white, you’ll be safe.

Rule #2: Eat the same few meals over and over again

The most successful dieters, regardless of whether their goal is muscle gain or fat loss, eat the same few meals over and over again. Mix and match, constructing each meal with one from each of the three following groups:

Proteins:
Egg whites with one whole egg for flavor
Chicken breast or thigh
Grass-fed organic beef
Pork

Legumes: EEW
Lentils
Black beans
Pinto beans

Vegetables: YUCK
Spinach
Asparagus
Peas
Mixed vegetables

Eat as much as you like of the above food items. Just remember: keep it simple. Pick three or four meals and repeat them. Almost all restaurants can give you a salad or vegetables in place of french fries or potatoes. Surprisingly, I have found Mexican food, swapping out rice for vegetables, to be one of the cuisines most conducive to the “slow carb” diet.

Most people who go on “low” carbohydrate diets complain of low energy and quit, not because such diets can’t work, but because they consume insufficient calories. A 1/2 cup of rice is 300 calories, whereas a 1/2 cup of spinach is 15 calories! Vegetables are not calorically dense, so it is critical that you add legumes for caloric load.

Some athletes eat 6-8x per day to break up caloric load and avoid fat gain. I think this is ridiculously inconvenient. I eat 4x per day.

Rule #3: Don’t drink calories

Drink massive quantities of water and as much unsweetened iced tea, tea, diet sodas, coffee (without white cream), or other no-calorie/low-calorie beverages as you like. Do not drink milk, normal soft drinks, or fruit juice. I’m a wine fanatic and have at least one glass of wine each evening, which I believe actually aids sports recovery and fat-loss. Recent research into resveratrol supports this.

Rule #4: Take one day off per week

I recommend Saturdays as your “Dieters Gone Wild” day. I am allowed to eat whatever I want on Saturdays, and I go out of my way to eat ice cream, Snickers, Take 5, and all of my other vices in excess. I make myself a little sick and don’t want to look at any of it for the rest of the week. Paradoxically, dramatically spiking caloric intake in this way once per week increases fat loss by ensuring that your metabolic rate (thyroid function, etc.) doesn’t downregulate from extended caloric restriction. That’s right: eating pure crap can help you lose fat. Welcome to Utopia.

Don't be unhappy, for I'll be affected too :(

I cannot bear seeing or knowing that he is unhappy. I'd feel so helpless and useless. And it all frustrates me so.

Still,

THANK GOD I'M A VIRGO.

Thank you God for giving me the analytical mind you bestow us Virgos with.

I don't mind that my doting boyfriend is an emotional Cancer (in fact, its better that way 'cos he showers me with love and attention) but it sure makes me feel guilt-ridden and devastated when he's down, because he rarely is. I'm always greeted with that ever-ready smile and a huge bear hug. Its beyond awesome. Its terrific!

I also feel very blessed because I've found someone who really loves me for who I am, inside out. My occasional laziness, addiction to horoscopes and insistence on believing in them, Mafia Wars craze, obsession with cleanliness and disgust in bacteria and dirt, annoying perfectionism coupled with a possessive trait and forgetfulness that makes remembering things a futile attempt altogether does not turn him off.

Which is really, really amazing.

It makes me wonder at times, what did I do to be blessed with such a wonderful person in my life. I am not ashamed to say that I can't keep my hands off him (literally!). Just to savour the moments spent together. Granted, I treasure it that much.

tired, tired, tired

I have eyebags in addition to the dark circles that frame my eyes.

Had to settle for little less than 4 hours of sleep time, because I was on the phone with him till 4 in the morning. Still, today's work was not bad! I managed to perform even in this weary state. I can say with pride that the job satisfaction was there early in the morning :)

After classes I talked to Jian Shen's mom for a pretty long time. Too bad I can't communicate with my parents as efficiently. But then again I suppose its like that for everyone.

By the way, I a-d-o-r-e my name on TTC's banner!

Even though its somewhere in the middle and not really noticeable, but hey! I'm a top scorer you know. SO sorry to rub it in. You can always leave if you find me too overwhelming.

Had a wonderful evening. Screw wonderful. It was awesome! Any time spent with my beloved is super duper fantastic! All in all, I'm still happy!

Just that its so sad I didn't get to heart-to-heart with my sister Yung Hsin. He'll be leaving for NS next week and I'll miss him for sure.

My life is awesome possum! :D

Current reading list: Twenties Girl

Typical Sunday

Had a good day :)

I tutored my cousin this morning. After that, I went to Book Xcess and purchased books totaling RM227. Satisfaction!

Then I went to Pn. Chan Moi's house for her farewell party. It was simple and small scaled, not elaborate nor grand. But it was awesome to be there!

Missed the boyfriend loads. Sigh.

我该学会

知足

I'm contented with my life. I have everything I need, everything I want.

I'm extremely lucky.

Yet sometimes, I don't feel happy. Not enough.

Its me. I'm the problem. I always am.

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. Those tears, wherever they came from, just flowed down. Gosh.

However, I'm fine now. I really should be rejoicing. I had an amazing evening yesterday. Again, princess treatment.

It doesn't take long to get used to ;)

And I don't get Remember Me. I kinda spaced out at parts of the movie, and in whole, I don't get the storyline. I don't know how Tyler died. Somehow, to me, it wasn't as poignant as the reviews claimed it was.

P.S. I hope I make you as happy as you make me.

LOOK, NEW PHONE!

This is my new phone!!!

My parents bought me my Sony Erricson W705 because I did well in SPM. It is a wonderful encouragement.

Man, they should have done this long time ago. I'd be even more driven to study x)

Today was such a rewarding day.

I've gotten four angpaus from my relatives for doing well in SPM in addition to my new phone. Wow, in total I have gained more than 1k for my results!

It sure pays off to do well academically. I only realised that today. Am gonna work harder in future with this as a reminder!

Other than my being rewarded materially, I was also mentally rewarded today. I tutored my cousin brother in his English this afternoon, and he was the best student I could've asked for.

He did the work I gave him diligently for two hours, no break in between. My aunt told me that he got up at 7.30am waiting for tuition!! Gosh, I feel so... touched. I'd started class at 3pm!!! Till 5pm. That's 2 hours of English for my UPSR level cousin. I've never taught such a keen learner before! What an absolute pleasure.

Nothing beats this satisfaction and joy. Really.

My life is so perfect that I no longer require my daily dosage of horoscope predictions.

xoxo

When need becomes want, its L.O.V.E.

I need a hug, and I want a cuddle.

My future is so furreaaaking frustrating!

I have trouble accessing the webpages I did mere hours ago. Which is plain stupid. I can't log in using the same I.C. number and password I did hours ago.

***

Okay things are working out better now. Thanks to my gem of a boyfriend who'd fly over to help me should I request it :)

Sometimes I feel bad for taking advantage of his attentiveness. Should I just express a need to quench my thirst, he'd be gone and back in a jiffy with my bottle. I know I am very bad lah! All these princess treatment is making me rather spoiled. But its unavoidable because I love being pampered!

I wish that I could spend every single awake moment in his arms. I'd like nothing more than that. Perhaps I'm more of a touchy-feely kind of person. I love hugs, adore cuddles and physical displays of affection.

But in another way, I also fear attention. He calls me shy. I feel awkward with him with other people around. Its not so much of him, its more of them, and I myself.

Still, the point is, I'm happy. More than happy. In fact, I'm super duper happy, so much that I could smile till my cheeks hurt :)

幸福快乐 -- 我找到了。

The magic began just only yesterday. And I feel that it is already at work.

I feel blissful, contented and happy.

Those feelings and the constant endorphin rush make me feel as if I'm the luckiest person alive. I am indeed, exceedingly fortunate.

Fortunate enough to have obtained such spectacular results (that even I myself can't bring myself to believe!), and lucky to have such a wonderful addition to my life. Yeah, I'm talking about my boyfriend (gosh, that term feels so foreign!).

Between us, I don't feel any awkwardness, uncomfortable silence or the 6th sense that a skeleton is concealed behind that cupboard.

I don't know if time is ripe enough for me to term whatever I'm experiencing now love, but it feels like something along that line.

Somehow, to me it feels like its everything I need.

Cheers, people :)

On cloud nine

I am super duper elated today!

First and foremost, my SPM results. I'm just basking in the joy of it, totally putting aside the fact that I didn't put in as much effort as I should have. Well, its my life and what I do with it is my choice. I did enjoy my high school life. But towards the end it was really stressful and everything I did seemed futile.

Well, today proved that it was not. Apparently.

But I know myself best. And I won't boast about anything, because I still feel incompetent amongst my fellow scorers. I will probably be feeling that all of my life, but well, I'm a Virgo. That should sum it up quite nicely xD (As Eu Chern says, blame it on your horoscope!)

Oh, and by the way right, should you ask me the question "12As?!",

I'd honestly tell you that I'm surprised too.

Another thing is that, before our results were released, I exclaimed real loudly that I'd be VERY HAPPY to get just 6As. Then a few seats behind Joon Ming went "Walao 6As also happy" in an extremely condescending tone AND a volume that outdid mine by kilo-decibels.

Ahhh at least I don't overestimate myself, which could be really detrimental (yes, it could affect me THAT badly), SHOULD I fail to achieve what I actually aimed for. It would result in a devastatingly huge disappointment like the one Joon Ming faced.

Aww... I feel so sorry for you. I am not a mean person in nature, but I will retaliate after you strike. Woops!

Other than that, another happy announcement I have to make other than my scoring 12As is that I am single no more.

That lucky guy is none other than... Ng Say Chiew. I don't need publicity nor do I need attention about that. But one thing is, I am very happy with him, and I hope that it will remain that way.

Gosh, today is beyond aweeeeeesoooomeeeee!!

Classes in the morning were super, results were more than satisfying altogether, my mom was sooo happy for me that I felt doubly joyful, Alice in Wonderland was good, dinner was scrumptious, company *winks* was top-notch.

Thinking back of today's events, I now feel warm and fuzzy all over.

Its a good feeling

:)

It was a good day

:))

& I can tell that tomorrow onwards will be much better.

:)))

Follow your heart

Today I did what my horoscope told me to -- do something nice for myself.

And I got bored. Because I'd decided that "something nice for myself" means rest. After getting up I was left clueless -- literally! -- about what to do next.

Hence my presence in the virtual world of the internet.

Of late, I have begun to feel something. I don't want to put a finger to it. Sometimes, my heart skips a beat. I don't know how to express this. But well, I am quite looking forward to Alice in Wonderland. With that said, I hope that all's well ends well, and that my mom wouldn't be an obstacle then.

I appreciate those little things you do, and I don't take them for granted. In fact, I feel bad when I think of all you've done for me. It touches me in a way that I dare not acknowledge, and perhaps, just perhaps, there could be something else lurking beneath.

Should the moment come, I would probably opt to embrace it. But, scarred from the past, I am unsure of how much I can offer, and how much I have left to offer.

I have a conscience, and I have a heart.

It may not come in the warm, gleaming shade of gold -- but I try to make it look that.

Rest assured :)

Do something nice for yourself today.

And so I will. But what nice things can I do for myself is the question.

Today I've worked a total of 9 hours and I am exhausted. Thus the horoscope prediction (refer to the post title) for tomorrow -- I mean, today. Its 12.30am already.

I'll get butterflies in my stomach at the thought of Thursday. I totally dread what's coming. I doubt my abilities, and I have no faith in myself.

All these shortcomings -- I blame it on my horoscope. But its better to be lacking in confidence rather than have an overdose of it, hmm?

Anyway, I am wondering if Alice in Wonderland is good, because I'm gonna watch it on Thursday evening. Somehow, I think that Johnny Depp looks pretty freakish in the movie adverts.

Oooh, and I wonder when will I get my paycheck, because I intend to window shop on the day of the movie, hehe. And it'd feel absolutely sucky to splurge on any of my future purchases using last month's paycheck. Unless I postpone my shopping trip. Which is just depressing.

I intend to go shopping and actually make purchases each time I get my paycheck. Last month's shopping spree was fruitful and tons of fun! With that said, I can't wait till my next trip! I know I'm repeating myself here.

Excitement drives sane thoughts away!

Oh, and if you could pardon the sudden leap of events, I attended

Joanne's 18th birthday party yesterday. The food was awesome and simply mouth-watering (meat, please!) and now I could salivate at the mere thought of it (I'm actually starving right now, so you could piece it all together xD).

Together with Yeen Yin, we've gotten her a charm bracelet which I hope would appeal to her. I am drawn to it like a metal to magnet. I love accessories, and that was a great piece! Of course I had to ask for advice on it, as I was torn between choices. There were simply too many selections for me to actually settle for one. Just one. What a nightmare!

All in all, I hope that I didn't make an erroneous choice.

Happy birthday, Joanne dear!

This is to my undang and amali buddy x)

Signing off !

My thoughts -- they stray elsewhere.

Think less, worry less.

I had the longest ever department meeting today. It lasted for around 3 hours, maybe?

There are a lot of niggling problems going on in my life now.

For one, I need a new phone. My current one has served its time, and should just rest in peace. I find it extremely bothersome because I cannot hear the other person when I'm on the phone. It only works on loudspeaker mode. Which seriously sucks because there is no privacy, and a lot of background sound.

Another thing is my phone's storage space.

YOU SEE, ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE PHONE RELATED!

I have to delete messages on a daily basis, if not hourly :/

And its not like I have a lot of texts.

Next week I'll get a phone. Next week.

But even with that strong a conviction, I doubt that I could possibly get around to doing it. Hmm.

Oh well I'm very tired now. Seminar's still on tomorrow and I'm helping out. I need 110% energy for that!!

Gambateh to me yeah! Bye dears :)